A Lamb

'Twas a sheep, not a lamb, that strayed away in the parable Jesus told.   A grown-up sheep that had gone astray from the ninety and nine in the fold.   Out on the hillside, out in the cold, 'twas a sheep the Good Shepherd sought;   And back to the flock, safe into the fold, 'twas a sheep the Good Shepherd brought.   And why for the sheep should we earnestly long and as earnestly hope and pray?   Because there is danger, if they go wrong, they will lead the lambs astray.   For the lambs will follow the sheep, you know, wherever the sheep may stray;   When the sheep go wrong, it will not be long till the lambs are as wrong as they.   And so with the sheep we earnestly plead, for the sake of the lambs today;   If the sheep are lost, what terrible cost some of the lambs will have to pay!   Source Unknown.

Become Your Parents
	Percentage of American teens who say they want to be like their parents: 39%  Charis Conn, (Ed.), What Counts: The Complete Harper's Index.

Believe In Your Child

You can have a brighter child, it all depends on your expectations. Before you're tempted to say, "Not true," let me tell you about Harvard social psychologist Robert Rosenthal's classic study. All the children in one San Francisco grade school were given a standard I.Q. test at the beginning of the school year. The teachers were told the test could predict which students could be expected to have a spurt of academic and intellectual functioning. The researchers then drew names out of a hat and told the teachers that these were the children who had displayed a high potential for improvement. Naturally, the teachers thought they had been selected because of their test performance and began treating these children as special children. And the most amazing thing happened -- the spurters, spurted! Overall, the "late blooming" kids averaged four more I.Q. points on the second test that the other group of students. However, the gains were most dramatic in the lowest grades. First graders whose teachers expected them to advance intellectually jumped 27.4 points, and the second grade spurters increased on the average 16.5 points more than their peers. One little Latin-American child who had been classified as mentally retarded with an I.Q. of 61, scored 106 after his selection as a late bloomer. Isn't this impressive! It reminds me of what Eliza Doolittle says in My Fair Lady, "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated." You see, how a child is treated has a lot to do with how that child sees herself and ultimately behaves. If a child is treated as a slow learner and you don't expect much, the child shrugs her shoulders and says, "Why should I try, nobody thinks I can do it anyway!" And she gives up. But if you look at that child as someone who has more potential than she will ever be able to develop, you will challenge that child, work with her through discouragement, and find ways to explain concepts so the child can understand. You won't mind investing time in the child because you know your investment is going to pay off! And the result? It does! So, what's the message for parents? Just this: Every child benefits from someone who believes in him, and the younger the child, the more important it is to have high expectations. You may not have an Einstein, but your child has possibilities! Expect the best and chances are, that's exactly what you'll get. Kay Kuzma, Family Times, Vol. 1, No. 3, Fall, 1992, p. 1.

Children's Affections
	Why do toy makers watch the divorce rate? When it rises, so do toy sales. According to the analyzers, four parents and eight grandparents tend to compete for children's affections, so buy toys.  L.M. Boyd, Spokesman Review, March 15, 1993.

Day Care or Stay At Home Mom?

- Day care during infancy is associated with "deviations" in the expected course of emotional development. - Infants placed in twenty or more hours of day care per week avoid their mothers and are insecurely attached; some have attachment problems with both mothers and fathers. - Children placed in day care receive less adult attention, communicate less, receive and display less affection, are more aggressive, and are less responsive to adults. - Compared with children who were cared for by their mothers as preschoolers, third-graders who were placed in day care as preschoolers are viewed more negatively by their peers, have lower academic grades, and demonstrate poorer study skills. Steve Farrar, Family Survival in the American Jungle, 1991, Multnomah Press, p. 105.

Good For Loving

In an article in Moody Monthly, Craig Massey told about being in a restaurant when he heard an angry father say to his 7 year old son, "What good are you?" The boy, who had just spilled his milk, put his head down and said, "Nothing." Years later, Massey said he was disgusted with his own son for a minor infraction. He heard himself ask what he called "the cruelest question a father can ask." He said, "What are you good for anyway?" His son replied, "Nothing."  Immediately he regretted the question. As he thought about this, he realized that the question was all right but the answer was wrong. A few days later when his son committed another minor offense, he asked, "What are you good for?" But before his son could reply, he hugged him and kissed him and said, "I'll tell you what you're good for. You're good for loving!" Before long, whenever he asked the question, his son would say, "I'm good for loving." Craig Massey.

How To Bake A Cake.

Preheat oven; get out utensils and ingredients.     Remove blocks and toy autos from table.     Grease pan, crack nuts.     Measure two cups of flour, remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby, re-measure flour.     Put flour, baking power, and salt in sifter.     Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on the floor. Get another bowl     Answer doorbell     Return to kitchen, remove baby's hands from bowl. Wash baby.     Answer phone.     Return.     Remove one-fourth inch salt from greased pan. Look for baby.     Grease another pan.     Answer telephone.     Return to kitchen and find baby. Remove his hands from bowl.     Take up greased pan and find layer of nutshells in it. Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table.     Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, dishes.     Call baker. Lie down.       Source Unknown.

How to Train Your Child to be a Delinquent

1. When your kid is still an infant, give him everything he wants. This way he'll think the world owes him a living when he grows up. 2. When he picks up swearing and off-color jokes, laugh at him, encourage him. As he grows up, he will pick up "cuter" phrases that will floor you. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and let him decide for himself. 4. Avoid using the word "wrong." It will give your child a guilt complex. You can condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up after him--his books, shoes, and clothes. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read all printed matter he can get his hands on...[never think of monitoring his TV programs]. Sterilize the silverware, but let him feast his mind on garbage. 7. Quarrel frequently in his presence. Then he won't be too surprised when his home is broken up later. 8. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. Every sensual desire must be gratified; denial may lead to harmful frustrations. 9. Give your child all the spending money he wants. Don't make him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you did? 10. Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They're all against him. 11. When he gets into real trouble, make up excuses for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him; he's just a bad seed." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. Swindoll, The Quest For Character, Multnomah, p. 105-6.

I Am Helping Him

I was two or three years old, sitting on the floor of my bedroom trying to get a shirt over my head and around my shoulders, and having an extraordinarily difficult time. I was grunting and sweating, and my mother just stood there and watched. Obviously, I now realize that her arms must have been rigidly at her side; every instinct in her had wanted to reach out and do it for me. Finally, a friend turned to her and said in exasperation, "Ida, why don't you help that child?" My mother responded through gritted teeth, "I AM helping him."  Harold Wilke   .

I Can But I Can't

I gave you life,   but I cannot live it for you.   I can teach you things   but I cannot make you learn.   I can give you directions   but I cannot always be there to lead you.   I can allow you freedom   but I cannot account for it.   I can take you to church   but I cannot make you believe.   I can teach you right from wrong   but I can't always decide for you.   I can buy you beautiful clothes   but I cannot make you lovely inside.   I can offer you advice   but I cannot accept it for you.   I can give you love   but I cannot force it upon you.   I can teach you to be a friend   but I cannot make you one.   I can teach you to share   but I cannot make you unselfish.   I can teach you respect   but I can't force you to show honor.   I can grieve about your report card   but I cannot doubt your teachers.   I can advise you about friends   but I cannot choose them for you.   I can teach you about sex   but I cannot keep you pure.   I can tell you the facts of life   but I can't build your reputation.   I can tell you about drink   but I can't say NO for you.   I can warn you about drugs   but I can't prevent you from using them.   I can tell you about lofty goals,   but I can't achieve them for you.   I can teach you kindness,   but I can't force you to be gracious.   I can warn you about sins   but I cannot make your morals   I can love you as a daughter or son   but I cannot place you in God's Family.   I can pray for you   but I cannot make you walk with God.   I can teach you about Jesus   but I cannot make HIM your Saviour.   I can teach you to OBEY   but I cannot make Jesus Your Lord.   I can tell you how to live   but I cannot give you Eternal Life. Source Unknown.

If I Could I Would

I would love my wife/husband more. In the closeness of family life it is easy to take each other for granted and let a dullness creep in that can dampen even the deepest love. So, I would love the mother/father of my children more and be freer in letting them see that love. I would develop feelings of belonging. If children do not feel that they belong in the family, they will soon find their primary group elsewhere. I would use meal times more to share happenings of the day instead of hurrying through them. I'd find more time for games or projects which all could join. I would laugh more with my children. The best way to make children good is to make them happy. I see now that I was, many times, far too serious. I must always be careful that I do not communicate that being a parent is a constant problem. I would be a better listener. I believe that there is a vital link between listening to children's concerns when they are young and the extent to which they will share their concerns with their parents when they are older. I would do more encouraging. There is probably nothing that stimulates children to love life and seek accomplishment more than sincere praise when they have done well. I would try to share God more intimately. We are not whole persons when we stress only the physical, social and intellectual aspects of life. We are spiritual beings, and if the world is to know God and his will, parents must be the primary conveyors. For my part, I would strive to share my faith with my children, using informal settings and unplanned happenings as occasions to speak of my relationship with God.

LISTENING TO OUR TEENS

WANTED!  SOMEONE WHO WILL LISTEN   Is anyone listening to me? Is anyone out there who cares about what I’m saying? Would anyone ever miss me if I was gone? This is what many teenagers are saying in America. We may not hear it but they are saying it loud and clear, with their actions. Teen suicide, pregnancy, pornography, drug use, school drop outs, alcohol use, rebellion, self-mutilation, and running away are just a few of the ways that teenagers cry out for help. I am not saying that in every situation someone is not doing their job as a parent, grandparent, youth leader, teacher, etc. There is always an exception to the rule, although, in most cases this is true. Teenagers are crying out for attention, for someone to take notice of them. Not by just screaming and hollering like a lot of parents do. Some parents have busy lives doing a lot of things. But taking quality time, keeping our mouths shut, and listening takes time. I might add the most important thing we can do with our time, is spend it with our teenager. Teenagers just want to know where they are on our list of important things to do. Are they at the end? In the middle? Or do they even show up? If we don’t wake up, they will be gone forever-some never to return. You see, if we don’t give them our time, if they don’t get what they need from us, they will find it. That’s when they turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, prostitution, etc. Teenagers need their parents more than anyone else. The number one influence in a teenager’s life is not a friend, grandparent, youth pastor, or teacher, but a parent. Some parents think that buying their teenager stuff or supplying them with money is the same thing as spending quality time. A lot of parents do this as a way to get their teenager “out of there way,” or “to be left alone.” In reality they are trying to buy their love, which never replaces quality time. None of us are perfect. You see, I have three teenage daughters myself: Hannah, Maria, and Amy. Each of them can tell you how I’ve failed them many times. Failure is not the end unless we are not willing to make changes. I know that my three daughters are certainly worth my time and effort to change. What about you? Practical ideas to help us with our teenagers! -Don’t be thinking of ways that you can try changing them, or what you’re going to say while your teenager is still talking. -Just listen, don’t talk. They want to be heard, just like we do. -Don’t try changing their ideas, or them. Most of it is talk anyway, and will work out itself. -Spend time doing what they like doing. (paintball, concerts, video games, skate boarding, etc.) Take an interest in them. -Be open to their ideas. -Allow them to be independent. -Allow them to make mistakes; how else will they learn? (How many have we made?) -Let them be in on decisions that involve them. -They want our trust, just like we want them to trust us. -They want to be valued by us. Marc Grizzard

Living Clay

I took a piece of plastic clay   And idly fashioned it one day,   And as my fingers pressed it still,   It moved and yielded to my will.   I came again when days were past--   The bit of clay was hard at last;   The form I gave it, it still bore,   But I could change that form no more.   I took a piece of living clay   And gently formed it day by day,   And molded with my power and art   A young child's soft and yielding heart.   I came again when years were gone--   It was a man I looked upon;   He still that early impress wore,   And I could change him nevermore.       Source Unknown.

Moved Lately?

There's an old story about two young children who were standing on the corner, bragging about who had moved from state to state the most. One little boy said, "My family has moved three times in the last three years." "Hey!" said the other little boy. "That's nothing. My parents have moved five times this year -- and I found them every time!" It's safe to say that this second boy came from a home without a strong sense of belonging.  G. Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D., The Gift of Honor, p. 89.

My Mother's God

When Robert Ingersoll, the notorious skeptic, was in his heyday, two college students went to hear him lecture. As they walked down the street after the lecture, one said to the other, “Well, I guess he knocked the props out from under Christianity, didn’t he?” The other said, “No, I don’t think he did. Ingersoll did not explain my mother’s life, and until he can explain my mother’s life I will stand by my mother’s God.” James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, Tyndale, 1972, p. 381. Mothers

No Time To Play

My precious boy with the golden hair Came up one day beside my chair   And fell upon his bended knee   And said, "Oh, Mommy, please play with me!"   I said, "Not now, go on and play;   I've got so much to do today."   He smiled through tears in eyes so blue   When I said, "We'll play when I get through."   But the chores lasted all through the day   And I never did find time to play.   When supper was over and dishes done,   I was much too tired for my little son.   I tucked him in and kissed his cheek   And watched my angel fall asleep.   As I tossed and turned upon my bed,   Those words kept ringing in my head,   "Not now, son, go on and play,   I've got so much to do today."   I fell asleep and in a minute's span,   My little boy is a full-grown man.   No toys are there to clutter the floor;   No dirty fingerprints on the door;   No snacks to fix; no tears to dry;   The rooms just echo my lonely sigh.   And now I've got the time to play;   But my precious boy is gone away.   I awoke myself with a pitiful scream   And realized it was just a dream   For across the room in his little bed,   Lay my curly-haired boy, the sleepy-head.   My work will wait 'till another day   For now I must find some time to play.   Dianna (Mrs. Joe) Neal.

Positive Or Negative?

In a survey parents were asked to record how many negative--as opposed to positive--comments they made to their children. Results: they criticized 10 times for every favorable comment. Another survey revealed teachers were 75% negative. It takes four positive statements from a teacher to offset the effects of one negative statement to a child.  American Institute of Family Relations, Homemade, August, 1990.

Property Laws of a Toddler

Property Laws of a Toddler   (Evidences of Original Sin)   Test this on the toddlers in your home or church this Christmas!   1. If I like it, it's mine.   2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.   3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.   4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.   5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.   6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.   7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.   8. If I saw it first, it's mine.   9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.   10. If it's broken, it's yours. Deb Lawrence, Missionary to the Philippines

Quotes
	"The best time to train a teenager is when he or she is a toddler."  David Cloud *******

Teen Sex

"Teen facts. Since the popular push for contraceptives for teens began, teenage sexual activity and pregnancy have increased 400%. 70% of unwed teen mothers will go on welfare. Of teens who marry because of pregnancy, 60% will be divorced in five years." Josh McDowell ******* "A study at a Midwestern school showed that 80% of the women who had intercourse hoped to marry their partner. Only 12% of the men had the same expectation." Robert J. Collins in the Chicago Tribune, quoted in HIS, February, 1976. ******* "Sometimes when I'm talking to teens, I draw an analogy between the bonding capacity of the body and adhesive tape. Adhesive tape is not made for repetitive use. The strongest bond adhesive tape is capable of making is formed with the first surface to which it is applied. You can remove the tape and reapply it to other surfaces several times, and it will still adhere. However, with every application, some of the adhesiveness has been compromised. Finally, if you continue the practice long enough, there will not be enough adhesiveness left to make the tape stick to any surface. God intended that the bond between mates be the closest and strongest one they are capable of forming. That is why Paul makes it very clear that the body is not for fornication." Dr. Richard Dobbins, Homemade, November. 1987. ******* "The Journal of Marriage and Family reported that couples who live together before marriage are less satisfied with their marriages and more likely to split up during rocky times." Focus on the Family, Nov. 1986, p. 11 *******

Time At Home
	Your home is the number one influence in the life of your child. The average church has a child 1% of his time, the home has him 83% of his time and the school for the remaining 16%. This does not minimize the need for churches and schools, but it establishes the fact your home is 83% of your child's world and you have only one time around to make it of maximum benefit. Howard Hendricks.

Time With Parents
	Children today average 17 hours a week with Mom and Dad--40 percent less time than children spent with their parents in 1965. And they spend more than 25 hours a week watching television. Los Angeles Times, quoted in Signs of the Times, May 1992. Time With Parents

Top 7 Problems In School

Schoolteachers were asked in 1940 to describe the top seven disciplinary problems they faced in the classroom. The problems: talking   chewing gum   making noise   running in the halls   wearing improper clothing   not putting waste paper in the waste paper basket. In the 1980s, educators were asked the same question by college researchers. Here are the top seven disciplinary problems that modern-day teachers must put up with: rape   robbery   assault   burglary   arson   bombing   murder.   Focus on the Family, March, 1987.

Training Children To Obey

Training children to obey: In Genesis 2:16 God first outlines the perimeters within which there is freedom. Then he specifies the restriction. Finally he states the consequence of disobedience. If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.   If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.   If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.   If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.   If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty.   If a child lives with encouragement, he learn to be self- confident.   If a child lives with tolerance, he learn to be patient.   If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.   If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.   If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.   If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal.   If a child lives with fairness, he learns what justice is.   If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is.